I Need To Know
by DarkDaughter1318
Summary: 3X19 "Stefan thinks I have feelings for you." "Do you?" Damon and Elena's chat from episode 3X19, because I really can't wait that long.


I walked up to the door of the boarding house and walked in. After Damon and I's trip to see Jeremy, I knew he had a heavy heart. He'd never actually admitted it to me out loud, but I knew he'd cared for Rose. I knew he was upset when he had to kill her, even though he'd deny it up and down. I wouldn't have been as brave as him. I wouldn't have been able to do for him what he'd done for Rose. I listened to see if I could hear anyone, but I couldn't, so I went into the parlor first, knowing that was where the bar was, and if I knew Damon, that was where he'd be. I found it empty. This shocked me. I turned back around and started up the stairs to his bedroom. The door was open, and I could see the shadow on the ground. He stood in his window, glass of scotch in hand, staring out into the trees. I leaned up against the doorframe, knowing he knew I was here. I remained silent, waiting on him to speak.

"And what brings you here? Miss me already?" He asked.

"I came to check on you." I said, entering the room.

"Check on me? Why?" He finally turned around and looked at me.

"Because of Rose…"

"Oh, you thought that having to ask Jeremy to talk to her for us was going to bother me, didn't you?" He asked.

"I know you cared for her, and -."

"She's history, Elena. I've learned to let her go." He said.

"Did you? Did you really? Because last time I checked, you spent a hundred and forty five years chasing after a girl because you couldn't let her go." He growled at me.

"Let bygones be bygones, Elena." I shook my head at his attempt to make it seem like it wasn't bothering him. I could look into his eyes and tell that it was. I could see through him just as well as he could see through me most of the time.

"How are you doing? Really?" I asked.

"Well, our plans to kill the originals were ruined, I was tortured for hours on end, I had to go talk to a dead ex, and we found out that if we kill the originals, we all die with them. Hmmm, I'm great. What about you?"

"Damon." I chastised.

"Elena." He said back, doing that eye thing that I secretly loved. I walked towards him.

"We're going to get through this."

"I hope so." He said, meeting my eyes. A silence fell over us for a second, before I spoke again.

"Have you talked to Stefan?"

"Yeah, he was around this morning. Extra broody, but I don't really understand why? We're all pretty pissed about what happened. You put your big girl panties on and you deal, like we're all doing." He said. I sighed and looked down.

"I know why he's like that." I said.

"Did something happen last night?" He looked concerned. I knew it wasn't concern for his brother, or even what was wrong with him. I knew he could care less about all of that.

"Nothing happened, per say."

"Elena." He said, rolling his eyes at my beating around the bush.

"We were talking last night, and Stefan went into his whole, 'all of this is my fault' thing and some stuff was said, and he told me how hating Klaus had been a waste of time because he'd let so much slip away. He… he told me that he still loved me, that he'd always love me." I couldn't meet Damon's eyes.

"I'd imagine this made you happy."

"Not exactly…" I murmured, still not looking at him.

"What is it you're not telling me?" The sound of his voice prompted me to look up. When I did, he looked almost nervous, as if he was scared of what I was going to say.

"Stefan thinks I have feelings for you." I said, my heart speeding up. I think he noticed because he stood up straighter. His face became thoughtful but serious at the same time.

"Do you?" He asked. I'd always known that everything that had happened between us since Stefan went off the deep end would lead up to this point. I never planned on having feelings for Damon. Hell, to be honest… I never thought I'd love Stefan as much as I did either. I knew I couldn't lie to him, but could I really tell him the truth? Stefan admitted that he still loved me last night, so what did that mean for us? If I was any kind of smart, I'd be running back to him, but the time for that was now over.

"I… I don't know what I feel." I said. "I know that I can't imagine my life without you in it anymore. I know that I'd rather die than have anything happen to you. I know when you look at me, my heart speeds up a little. I know that when you're in trouble, or in danger, all I want is to save you, like you've saved me so many times before. I know that you mean a lot to me, but-." I stopped. His eyes were wide and bright until I got to the but part.

"But what?" I took a deep breath.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it? I don't know how I'm supposed to-." I stopped. "I'm no better than Katherine was, Damon. The way Stefan looked at me last night; I know that's what he was thinking. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean to fall in love with you. It just snuck up on me, and now…." I stopped, not knowing how to continue.

"You are nothing like Katherine, do you understand me? Nothing."

"I'm just like her. She loved both of you and she drove a wedge between you both. She did this to you, and now I'm only going to end up doing the same thing." I said.

"No… it isn't going to be like that again, Elena. History will not be repeating itself."

"It already has." I whispered, turning from him. I felt horrible. He grabbed my wrist.

"Do you still love him?"

"I'll always love him, Damon." I murmured. I saw the pain register in his eyes.

"Then he's who you should be with." He released me, and started to leave.

"No." I said. He stopped.

"What?"

"I said no. You don't get to make that decision for me, Damon Salvatore." I said.

"Elena, you just said you'd always love him, this decision is obvious." He told me. He had no real idea what was going on inside me, what I was really feeling.

"It isn't obvious, Damon. He left me, gave up on me and ran off with Klaus leaving a string of bodies in his path. Neither of you are perfect, and yes, some of that was out of Stefan's control, but you've never left me. You've never pushed me away, or told me that you didn't want me or need me like he has. I know you never will. He asked me to look him in the eye and tell him that I didn't feel something for you, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't because I love you, Damon." He stood there, staring at me for a few moments, before he blinked.

"Elena, you're being rash-."

"I'm not. For the first time, I'm actually making the best decision for me. I love you Damon. If I loved Stefan enough to stay with him, to work at it, to take him back after all the pain he caused me, then I never would have fallen in love with you." I said. I took a few steps forward, moving closer to him. "You yourself said it was right, just not right now."

"Elena, that was a long time ago, and I just-."

"Do you really want to give me up? Do you really want to lose me to your brother like you lost Katherine?" I asked. His face scrunched up. It was a low blow and I knew it. "You love me."

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."

"Then why are you acting like this isn't what you want?" I asked. He turned away from me for a second.

"Being I'm being stupid." He said, simply before grabbing me and pulling me in to kiss me. The moment his lips touched mine, I knew that this was what I wanted. Damon had been what I wanted; I was just to blind to let myself see it. I realized now that there wasn't any way in hell I'd be able to survive without him. I let myself melt into the kiss, pressing myself closer against him. When he pulled away, he smiled that smug ass smile that I loved.

"I love you, Elena Gilbert."

"I know." I murmured, giving him a smug smile right back. I kissed him again and cut off anything else he could have said. In this moment, I was content. Even with all the hell and pain and suffering going on around us, I couldn't have been more happy than I was this very second.


End file.
